A knuckle sandwich
Imagine this, you’re quietly walking down a creek bed to scout for elk when you accidently stumble upon a sleeping grizzly. This is exactly what happened to Chase Dellwo in Teton County, Montana, while hunting with his brother a couple weeks ago. Dellwo and the 300ish-pound grizzly were both beary (sorry) surprised when they came face-to-face, resulting in the bear attacking. While trying to fight off the bear, Dellwo recalled an article his grandma gave him that claimed large animals had bad reflexes.
“So I shoved my right arm down his throat,” he told missoulian.com. The knuckle sandwich gagged Smokey and he took off, and has not been spotted since the incident on account of being too embearassed (sorry, not sorry) from the scuffle.
Rumors have it Dellwo can now grow a full beard on command and Montana State Governor Steve Bullock passed a law requiring all residents of the Big Sky Country to buy Dellwo a whiskey ditch when they see him.
Going down in flames
Speaking of gagging, here is something that makes me embarrassed for my generation. Two identical twins from Denmark have made quite the internet reputation for themselves from eating some odd things. Having a twin brother myself (Hi, Coley Boy), I can confidently say that being with your twin makes you 94.394839393 percent more likely to do something really
This was definitely no exception for these two when they decided to juice 130 Carolina Reaper and Triniadad Moruga Scorpion peppers. On the Scoville Scale, the Carolina pulls in at 2,200,000 and the Triniadad at 2,009,231. For a little perspective, Habanero’s are a measly 350,000. Many moons ago, my dad accidently gave my kid brother a Habanero, thinking it was a sweet pepper. I then watched my brother lay on the kitchen floor and suck on a wet wash cloth and make noises similar to an injured rabbit (I love you, Chris), while my dad stood there horrified that he may have killed his youngest son with a hot pepper.
Knowing this, it shouldn’t come to a surprise that the two could barely breathe as they juiced the peppers. But as the two
idiots took their shots of pepper poison, something beautiful happened: While the twin on the left flapped his arms around like Nemo out of water, and the twin on the right gagged and grabbed his own throat, they looked at each other in peace, to say their final goodbyes before death.
They didn’t actually die, and gagging and slobbering isn’t that beautiful of a moment, but click here to watch the video. I don’t understand Danish, but I’m pretty sure they weren't saying, “Golly, this is hot,” towards the end.
The beef thief strikes again!
If you read The Back 40 last week, then you may recall the story of the beef thief in Florida. If you missed it, here’s the quick rundown: Shoeless, dreadlocked man tried to inconspicuously walk a basket full of meat out of a Target in Lee County, Florida. For some unknown reason, he stuck out, and was chased by store security.
According to news-press.com, Eric Daniels, aka “Bomb Squad, aka “The Beef Thief,” aka “Busted,” was identified by local law enforcement while trying to lift several bottles of shampoo and laundry soap from a CVS. Daniels has already been booked in the Lee County jail 39 times, and local law enforcement are after him for the 40th.
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