Here at Grazing the Net, we have no fundamental beef with vegans. Seriously – do what you like. Live and let live. But when it comes to an abomination called “vegan lobster,” we can’t help but weigh in.

We found out about vegan lobster thanks to an unfortunate accident involving former NFL star Warren Sapp. The legendary No. 99 was briefly in danger of getting “86’d” when he was bitten by a shark during a recent lobster-hunting excursion. Sapp recovered just fine, thank you very much, but turns out PETA was more worried about the lobsters. The group sent him a “delicious vegan lobster” and a get-well card that read in part: “Despite that nasty bite, it’s humans who rank as the deadliest predator of all. We hope you look after yourself, so we invite you to tackle any health problems with vegan foods and to be a champion of lobsters.”

According to Reddit, vegan lobster is typically made from some combination of wheat protein, soy protein, pea protein and or yam flour. “Don’t ask where the fish smell comes from,” one cheeky commenter advises. Another thing – isn’t the best part of eating lobster dunking it in clarified butter? So you’d have to serve vegan lobster with a side of vegan butter. Talk about a double dose of dumb for dinner…

8.4 Million Sickos

The rubberneckers win again. This time it’s 8.4 million YouTube viewers (and counting) who tuned into a compilation of tractors stuck in the mud. The video delivers exactly what it promises – tractor after tractor spinning futilely, trying to twist and turn its way out of a bad situation.

As you may have heard, misery loves company, and AgWeb’s in on the “fun” with its own stuck tractor contest. Be sure to vote for your favorite!

The Onion's Strange Obsession with Tom Vilsack

The Onion is notorious for its biting political satire that routinely “reaches across the aisle” to Republicans and Democrats alike. President Obama, former president Bush, the Clintons, Trump – name your target, and The Onion has likely hit the bullseye.

In the recent past, USDA Secretary Tom Vilsack was briefly in regular news headlines as a potential vice presidential running mate for Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. When the pick eventually went to Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine, The Onion jumped in with an article titled, “Depressed, Butter-Covered Tom Vilsack Enters Sixth Day of Corn Bender After Losing VP Spot.”

As it turns out, Vilsack is a frequent newsmaker at The Onion, having been spoofed some half-dozen times over the years. It made us wonder - does Tom read these? Does he care, or does he just laugh along with the rest of us?

GMO Labeling Bill Signed Into Law

President Barack Obama on Friday signed into law a bill requiring the labeling on foods with genetically modified organism (GMO) ingredients. According to a statement by the White House, Senate Bill 764 directs the Secretary of Agriculture to “establish a national mandatory bioengineered food disclosure standard.” A number of agriculture organizations and food manufacturing associations applauded the passage of the bill as it made its way through the Senate and House earlier in July.